Posts
Hello again everyone
Thanks for your very supportive comments on my writing – I never thought I would begin to be bold enough to write in such a public way!! I realize that one of the inhibitors is that I so want to make sure that I am connecting with each one of you. That is why it is easy to write individual emails because then I have a sense of ‘docking’ with you (docking as space ships do!) and the way I connect with each friend has a slight shift or individual colour that is to do with the unique aspect of our relationship. Judging from all your emails and blog comments I managed to do it collectively, Yay!
I feel as if I am waiting and waiting for the chemo to start… got to give my body a good chance to recover from the hysterectomy. The operation seems so much in the background now but I know my system deserves the time and gentle ease to renew from that trauma and to be strong enough to engage with the next part of the process.
The week end was pretty good. I am being so excellently taken care of in millions of tiny and large ways that seem to make my path easy. Highlights were time with Deborah (lengthy face to face on Skype) and a whole Sunday with Talia. I experience such joy at their loving, intelligent, radiant presence. I think that I am a besotted mother. I never saw myself as such before. Clearly joy is always possible. I say that because of a very interesting conversation I had with good long time friend Robin Banks. He is giving a talk tomorrow night on “The Practice of Happiness”. We were talking about the possibility that happiness is a byproduct of being totally oneself, and then wondered about the difference between happiness and joy. I think there is a difference of depth and origin. I don’t really know how to articulate it. Thinking about my sense of joy engendered by the connection with Deborah and Talia – I believe that looking and being with them with such delight and wonder, with such admiration for the way that they are working their lives, lets joy bubble from the deepest heartspace. And that joy can easily live with the sadness, trepidation, and grief that I am also experiencing. Don’t know if that makes any sense to any of you. But I have committed to write this blog unedited!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
hello Maryse and Steve
ReplyDeleteWe were in Joburg for the weekend to collect two awards for Johan's office. We spent a very educational two days vsiitng the Cradle of mankind, Freedom Park, Leliesvlei and the Constitutional Court. We have learnt so much and especially that we didnt really know much about our country's past.
When you go back 4 billion years it also puts life in perspective and makes you so aware not to sweat the small stuff.
So we are catching up on your comings and goings and enjoying your inspiring writing. Its amazing and scary how suddenly your life can change. You are now forced to explore and learn about a whole new field of knowledge and go on a journey not of your choice but which will anyway be very interesting.
Thanks to you and Steve for keeping us all informed deeply and honestly and including us in your journey.
lots of love
Johan and Jenny v P
Reading to the end of your blog was no chore. Leaving it was the challenge. You connect so deeply with each of us through a combination of authenticity and articulateness. You and Stephen are amazing in how you embrace the challenges (often unforseen) which the journey brings. You are both inspirational. Love, much love, Maurice
ReplyDeleteDearest Maryse,
ReplyDeleteMy heart sank to the bottom of some deep ocean when I heard news from Valerie of you having cancer. Not Maryse surely. Having known you from early childhood and for so many years part of our family as well as a dear friend. So many memories woven like a golden thread through our lives. My most recently lovely experience of you was listening to you teach at a seminar at the Stanford festival and being so impressed with how good you were at it and how you had the whole tent full of people totally riveted to what you were saying and doing the whole time. I thought 'she is really good at this'. You must have given your special ideas, philosophy and enlightenment to so many people over the years and they have gone away richer. You have given so much love and support to your family, your parents and to your friends too, and not to forget your many clients. Such a well spring of giving, A small person with a very large heart
I want to share an experience I had a few years ago when I retired from my last job. It was a lovely, well attended farewell party and I mentioned in my farewell speech that I love classical music and that everytime the orchestra come on stage to play and afterwards the audience claps enthusiastically. I said when I turned up at the psychiatric unit where I work and walk in the door in the mornings I wish there was an enthusiastic audience clapping me as I come in the door, appreciating me just turning up to treat people with mental health problems, but there never was. From that moment on, in my speech whatever I said they clapped. I so enjoyed it. I wish I had said something earlier. So now I want you to think of all the amazing things you have done and hear us all clapping in the background in appreciation of all those many things you have done, achieved and given others. Every time you go for treatment we are all clapping.
I have read the blog and really appreciate reading updates of how things are going and what treatment has been considered and thank you so much Steve for organizing that so that we can all keep in touch. I shall go on reading them but am actually a techno-twit and cant work out how to comment back so that it why I am emailing you.
I did counselling for a year with people undergoing chemotherapy and people react very differently and not everyone lost their hair or felt sick. But of course it can happen. I wish you strength and some peace of mind during your coming very difficult period of treatment. I very much hope to see you in December when I come to Cape Town.
You dont have to reply to this email at all. Just to let me know you got this email perhaps you could just send me the words, "I hear the sound of clapping." I'll know you got it.
I will write again.
with all my love and a big, big hug,
from Julia Brenda
Maryse,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the open channel to your life and heart. I sent you some doumbek rhythms yesterday, sounds that might touch into your early years. Maybe you heard them, O Sheet of Alexandria.