moving forward

hello everyone and welcome to new friends, thank you for your messages and emails of love and support. Slowly my 'team' is coming together. yesterday morning I began the day with my first acupuncture treatment with Phil Burnham. It was a gentle time. Acupuncture can really provide a powerful support for the immune system and many other aspects of my health as I receive chemotherapy.

And I have happily begun my mindfulness meditation on the breath.Using Simon Whitesman's simple and gentle CD I am learning - just 15 minutes at a time for a start - to lightly keep the focus on my breath. I am a novice but that 15 minutes in the morning and in the evening make an incredible difference in my own sense of inner stillness. This afternoon I go for my new alternative short short short haircut! that will prepare me for my champagne and shave party soon!!And Monday I begin the Chemotherapy treatment - I have been asked to bring my own snack and lunch as I should be receiving medication via I V for about 5 to 6 hours! quite long. I will be well equipped with my current novel: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and interesting things to listen to on my Ipod - and occasional visitors. It is good to have had this time to get ready for this.

This is the short update - however if you want to read further do.....


A friend reminded me of a story I told her a while back. And I wanted to write it to you. We each make meaning of the things that happen in our lives in ways unique to ourselves engendered by what we believe or maybe know.

When I was nearly 45 years old I began to really want a mentoring relationship with an older woman who could provide space and wisdom. It was such a strong desire that I began to imagine her and the qualities that she would have. Qualities that would serve me in our relationship. I imagined and I wrote it down - She would be a woman of deep contentment not because her life had been so wonderful but because she had engaged with it fully and experienced the satisfaction of her contribution. She would have an easy sense of humour, and an ability to play at the slightest provocation! Her heart was inclusive and brave, she had wisdom because she used each experience to the fullest advantage, she certainly would not take me too seriously (the way I take myself). and she relished her love affair with life. She was light on her feet and was happy to be quiet and to listen. There was one woman in my world at the time, she was about 17 years older than me, who I asked to be my mentor - she had a number of those qualities. For her own reasons she said that the timing was not right for her. There was no one else that I knew. It was an unexpected NO. Then I heard my own internal voice saying to me - 'YOU become that woman that you have described, 20 years should do it.' Twenty years felt like a very long time, imagining 65 was almost impossible but it was the most natural thing to agree and that has powerfully reframed the last 15 years!! It meant that whatever came towards me I viewed as part of the 'mentoring programme' I had set myself to become the mentor I imagined. So the difficulties of dealing with my very challenging 15 year old, being with my dad as he was dieing, high anxiety working with people by whom ho I felt intimidated, and all the other mundane challenges that come in a life had a definite purpose. It has made a huge difference. It has given me a context, a reference point, a vision that has been so supportive and helpful. I have 5 more years of this amazing life-designed perfect programme! Clearly the final part of the programme is the most challenging but it is held within a frame of genuine meaning for me and that is why it becomes easy to engage with it no matter the discomfort. Biggest lesson for me is to learn to be playful!

I know that I am a mentor to a number of magical people so already I have been provided with the relationships to test myself out! I think it is one of the reasons why the teaching of mentoring has become such a passion for me. The opportunities for learning are endless.

Enough for today... a million thank yous for the wealth of your poems, words, stories, suggestions. What a community this is!!